5 powerful tips to finally let go and surrender.

Hey mama-bear,

Have you ever vowed to the Universe that after all this time, you’re (finally) ready to surrender your fertility journey to a higher power, but 2 sec's later find yourself worrying about how in the heck it’s going to happen?

It’s like… you just know in your mama bear heart that you will – one day – be a mama, but can’t figure out what you’re supposed to do with your life in the mean time. AND (to top it off) you gotta make sure that you’re doing everything you can in the interim, so you have major FOMO on all the new fads, tips and tricks that *could* be the magic key to getting pregnant.                                     

When you want something really, really bad, restlessly waiting for it to happen is like waiting for water to boil. And a watched pot never boils.

I know this isn’t news to you. You are seriously incredible to have come this far and you WILL have your baby. Your perseverance and determination amazes me. Which is why I want to let you in on a little secret…  

Choosing to let go and surrender is a daily practice.

You have the freedom to surrender by making it a priority and a choice... Every. Single. Day.

Here are 5 ways to surrender your fertility journey, stop waiting and actually LOVE your life now:

1. Find a Healthy Distraction

Where your focus goes, your energy flows. And if you’ve been TTC for what feels like an eternity, you know that some days it's difficult to flip the off switch on worrying about when and how it’s is going to happen. So instead of wishing the worry would go away, find yourself a healthy distraction to get out of your head. This is not avoiding the problem. It’s making a conscious choice to focus your attention on something else. Because you don't want to suffer anymore. What activity makes you lose track of time? What did you love to do as a kid? If you can’t think of anything, what can you do to make something you do today, a little bit better?

2. Take “Inspired Action”

There’s a big difference between taking action to try to make things happen (masculine energy) vs. inspired action which is being in alignment before taking action (feminine energy). Shift the goal from do to be. When you’re present, enjoying life and doing things that light you up, your next steps will come to you…like a book flying off a shelf. It’s not something that you have to “make happen”. Inspired action comes naturally, easily and at some of the most unexpected moments.

3. Smile! You’re in Parenting-Prep 101.

It can be hard to see, but you’re learning mad mom skillz right now. Think about how many parents you’ve known who’ve wanted their kids to live a certain kind of life, play a certain kind of sport, get a certain kind of degree and marry a certain kind of person - all to fulfill their own unfulfilled needs and not a life that the kid would have chosen for themselves. Learning how to let go of things to be a certain way is such a gift to your child and to your future-self.

4. Be open to it being way better than you imagined. 

The biggest life lesson I’ve learned on my fertility journey, is that the plan the Universe has for me has proven to be waaaayyy more exciting, loving, abundant and expansive than any plan I could have imagined for myself. A quote that really resonates is this one from Joseph Campbell, “We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” And this is good news mama-bear...

5. Let go of the edge of the pool. 

If you’re wanting to create a big shift in your life, you gotta let go of the edge of the pool. I know *cough…first hand…cough* that white knuckling on the sidelines feels safe, but if you don’t let go, you’ll never learn how to swim. What does letting go of the edge look like to you? Is it a crumby belief that you’re not fill in the blank enough to get pregnant? Or maybe it’s something tangible like it’s time for you to finally let go and leave the career that’s been holding your gorgeous self back for years.

Trust me when I say that whatever you’re holding onto is all an illusion and not really true. It’s what you’ve learned from society and what keeps you small, when you were designed and destined for a full and beautiful life.

And remember, surrender is a daily practice. Make a conscious choice every day to let go of worry by enjoying your life now and spending your precious time doing the things that light you up. Here is where you'll see your life suddenly start working for you rather than against you.

Lots of love!

Xo Spenser


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