Feeling overwhelmed with your fertility to-do list?

Hey mama-bear,

I was on the phone with a client the other day who had just returned home from a holiday. We’ve been working together for a couple of months and it’s around this amount of time when I start seeing real change. Change in their minds which starts to manifest in their outer world.

She softly and slowly articulated to me, “On most vacations...my husband and I try to fit in everything. We don’t want to miss a thing, so we pack our days with things to do. But this vacation was different.” She says, “I decided to slow down... I decided to take my time and enjoy the city. Instead of seeing 10 places, we decided to see 5. And in the end, I some how ended up seeing and experiencing more.”

As a Life Coach, hearing this kind of inspiration from clients sends chills down my body and goose bumps all over my arms. Not only because I’m stoked to hear she’s doing well (obvi), but because she’s tapping into a deeper level of living and it inspires the hell outta me. Because that level of living in contagious.

How did she end up seeing more, but did less?

How can you begin to slow down and do less, but actually end up getting more done?

It depends on what your definition of more is. 

When you become more present and content with your life right now, regardless of circumstance, you trade your definition of more from quantity to quality.

Because it’s not about “what” you’re doing. It’s about “how” you’re doing it. 

Instead of having 10 things on your to-do list, have 5 things. This automatically gives you permission to fill those 5 activities with presence and attention, because the pressure of time is off and you can be here. Now.  

The common misconception is that when you slow down, you’ll get less done. But I’m a firm believer that it almost doesn’t even matter what you’re doing – as long as you’re there when you’re doing it (and not in your head). Because when you’re present, you’re in connection with the higher intelligence and create a bridge for that creative energy to work through you.

So if you’re feeling resentful of all the things you think you have to do to get pregnant, take a good step back and ask yourself:

Would I be happier if I cut this list in half and decided to fill what's left with presence? 

Here are some examples:

  • Put your phone on airplane mode while meditating and don’t set a timer. Actually, lose the phone altogether. And then lose yourself in the meditation.
  • Bless the vitamins and food before you eat it. Show appreciation by mindfully preparing and eating it. Not only are they helping you build a healthy baby, but they give you instant energy that you get to enjoy today.
  • Go for a walk. But before you do, ask nature a question. The only way you’ll get an answer is by becoming present (aka. becoming one) with the higher intelligence of nature. Don't even try understanding this with the mind. It can only be felt. 

You see the difference? It's a whole new way of experiencing your life.

Consciously choose quality over quantity. It's not about what you do. It's about how you do it. *This* is what matters most. 

All my love,

Xo Spenser

“Once she stopped rushing through life, she was amazed at how much more life she had time for.” – Unknown

3 things that happen when you accept where you are.

Hey mama-bear, 

Do you agree that society is sooo A.B.C? 

We always be chasin’.

Chasin’ mo money. Chasin’ a promotion. Chasin’ a better wardrobe. Chasin’ a bigger house. Chasin’ a sexier marriage. And of course, chasin’ a baby.

We are in a constant state of want and waiting for the next best thing.

Don’t get me wrong, having goals and working towards something is vital to feeling of purpose in the world, but when did it become so not fun?

And when did we forget that the journey is meant to be enjoyed just as much as the destination?

As a Life Coach, my biggest concern with the “next best thing” mindset, is that when your goal does come to fruition, your mind doesn’t know how to fully enjoy it…because it’s been trained to focus on the future and never the now.

So how do you begin to enjoy the journey of life NOW -- in all of its imperfection?

How can you show your baby that this life is meant to be LIVED -- through ALL of its ups and downs?

Through this one incredibly overlooked way: Acceptance.

I’m not asking to give up getting pregnant. Because you will have this baby. What I’m asking you to do, is to accept just this moment exactly as it is. You don’t have to accept your life situation. Just this moment.  

When you’re not in acceptance, you’re in resistance. You’re literally rejecting life. And resistance creates a tight energy in your body which communicates that its not the best time to create a baby. 

Trust me, I know it sounds crazy to the monkey mind to just accept where you are, but when you connect with your body, can you feel how painful it is when you don’t want to be where you are?

Here’s 3 things that happen when you accept where you are: 

1. you restore peace in your mind and body. 

When your mind and body are at peace and not abc’ing, not only are you living in the moment, but it communicates to your body that it’s safe to get pregnant.

2. You're overcome with huge gratitude.

You know you’re in acceptance when you start to notice all that’s going well in your life, even if it’s somethin' as simple as having food to eat. You’ll also find gratitude for the tough times too, as these moments are opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

3. you're align with Inspired action.

A big misconception around acceptance is that it means you do nothing, which couldn't be farther from the truth. You see, acceptance is an energetic way of saying YES to life. And when you say yes to life, life says yes back. The Universe will respond by sending you inspiration to do things that will help you get what you want. So before taking any action, it’s important to accept where you are.

Finding acceptance is as simple as getting still, connecting with your breath and making the conscious choice that you're no longer going to fight against your life. And watch the love fill your body as you energetically put down your sword and accept where you are. 

What if, all you’re meant to learn on your fertility journey is how to accept and enjoy your life now? What if this kind of presence is what’s most needed for the sanity of the world and for our future generation, and YOU were a part of this bigger plan?

So accept this moment. And this moment...and this moment.  

Much love to you mama-bear,

Xo Spenser

“Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.” – Albert Einstein

accept where you are fertility