The women I speak to that live with guilt are some of the most thoughtful and sweetest people I know.
They have guilt because they genuinely care about people, the world and they really want the best for themselves and the ones they love.
But guilt is a very sneaky emotion...
Because guilt tricks you into believing that you’re not good enough until you’ve got it all figured out.
Your monkey mind believes that “guilt is necessary” until the baby arrives, until you have 6 zero’s on your bank statement or until you have a photo-shop lookin' bikini bod.
And until it happens, that guilt’s gonna drill you like a sergeant because it believes that it’s the only way you’ll get it all done.
This can manifest in a couple different ways:
1. Always “doing more” to make up for the guilt and not knowing how to be still (because it will only add to your guilt).
2. The pressure to be perfect paralyzes you and prevents you from getting anything done. So you’d rather spend the day eating chips and chocolate in bed.
I can successfully say I’ve experienced both of those scenarios. More than once.
The main reason why guilt makes you feel like you're being eaten alive, is because it’s an emotion that gets stronger, the longer you keep it to yourself.
What if what you think you feel guilty about is not actually what's creating the suffering?
What if what's creating the suffering, is how difficult and unnatural it feels to keep it all inside?
Which is why you feel so guilty -- A total and complete shame spiral.
So if you’re ready to let go of the guilt, I’m gonna ask you to give this a try. Because it works:
- Find someone you love and trust. (It would be especially effective if you found the person you feel most guilty towards. For example, your spouse if don’t feel like you’re "doing enough” to get pregnant.)
- Tell them you’ve been holding onto some shit for too long and you believe that just telling someone and letting it out will be enough to let it pass. Tell them you don’t want advice - you just want to be heard.
- Express what you’re feeling guilty about. Is it too many glasses of wine last weekend? Not taking your vitamins? Doing too much? Doing too little? Let the cat out of motha effin’ bag!
- Then I want you to notice how you feel. Take a couple minutes to feel the energy release. It’ll feel like you're letting the air out of a balloon that was just about to POP.
- Give your loved one a hug and/or a kiss and thank them for listening.
Doing this exercise feeds your fertility on an emotional level, therefore will create space for healing on a physical level. Stored emotions (that we now know are called guilt) are directly related to the second chakra – your reproductive center. Amazing, right?
Allow that energy to flow and allow this moment to be a reminder that you are enough. You do enough. And you have enough. Now go and enjoy your beautiful life!
“Guilt is to the spirit, what pain is to the body.” – Elder David. Bednar